I didn't shave. On purpose
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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