First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
