this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
