Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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