I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
