Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
