I feel like abortions should bother me more
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
