I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
