What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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