i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
