I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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