dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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