Have you finally orgasmed yet?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
