Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
