the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
