can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
