This girl is more easily done than said...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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