Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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