Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am puke
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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