mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
