I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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