i think my mom watched the whole time
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
