So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
