Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
