well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
