i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
