Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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