My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
