At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
