dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
