So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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