I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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