You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
