Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
