This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
