he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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