Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
