what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
