I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
