John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it's like iHOP with fire
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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