Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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