I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
