I hate all girls vehemently.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
