I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
