I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
