what if every blade of grass was a penis?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
