Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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