So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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