party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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