There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Randomize
