he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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