My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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